The difference between dating and relationship
Many harassers – including Dustin Hoffman and Al Franken – framed their behavior as pranks and jokes. One night, instead of just caressing her inner thighs, he flipped her slip over her head – exposing her breasts to the crew who he’d called over to witness his gag.And what jokester could resist the opportunity to cup someone’s breast during a photograph, then pull it away before she had a chance to react?The guy who keeps insisting on massages from his coworkers – even if there’s nothing overtly sexual about it – is declaring that he’s allowed to override their autonomy.And while people may argue that they don’t realize what they’re doing is wrong…
It has nothing to do with what desire to go about her day without getting bothered. Many of these cases of harassment aren’t cases of “flirting gone awry”, as so many claim. It’s not about one person saying outrageous things or touching women in order to get them aroused and compliant. Flirting is a welcome game being played, not something that’s imposed upon another person.
Quite frankly, when your version of flirting gets “mistaken” for sexual harassment, then you need to consider that are entitled to override their desire.
(And it goes without saying that just being attracted to somebody doesn’t give that person free rein.
But here’s the thing: everyone recognizes when something is an accident.
Shit happens, sometimes in ways that make you want to dig a hole and pull it in after yourself. Not unless that “accident” to offer to fuck someone. With clarification in case she missed it the first time.” Nor, for that matter, is it a case of “oops I forgot to wear pants to the meeting I arranged in my hotel room” or “here sweetie, give me a massage.” Harassment doesn’t happen at random.
As the revelations of sexual harassment, abusers and general shitbags rolls on, so to does the inevitable pushback to the #metoo movement.