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All that is perfectly defensible — feelings can’t be scripted; no one has to care sooner than they care; we are all free to move about the cabin as jerkily as we desire. This is, by the way, why romance has its own unspoken stand-your-ground laws — we all have the right, out of pure self-defense, to hold back certain things from a relationship until we’re ready to give them, and sex and commitment are the two big ones. But here are also certain things that, once given out, you can’t take back: Birthday gifts, tickets to a cool show, STDs and a promise to date one person exclusively.In a monogamous relationship, the only way to go back is to break up.It's the phase where the relationship is past the point of 'first few dates' yet hasn't been officially promoted to 'serious'. You might meet someone's family and get in with their friends. people are not your significant others, they're simply "someone you're seeing" and there is comfort in such a title. It's a gray, murky swimming hole where many people tread water, waiting patiently (yeah, right) for either the next stage to begin, or for the whole thing to end. You may even have a few things at each other's apartments because you spend nights or weekends together. But this is why there are so many perfectly great vague, date-like but commitment-phobic ways to describe a relationship wherein one or both parties are not ready for the more traditional language: Hanging out, hooking up, chilling, dating, “dating partner.”What’s more, most people seem to know in about a month whether they want to get serious with someone.

Your premature agreement is the main issue.)”Needlessly provocative? Because if you told her you really, really like her — but not so much that it would overshadow the urge to tap a nice ass in Lululemons — she’d dump you.

Truth: You can’t downshift into first while doing 90 on the freeway, and you can’t suddenly suggest seeing other people after you’ve already promised someone a commitment.

But such is the folly of an anonymous letter-writer who wonders to My girlfriend and I have been going out for six months.

Both men and women have found themselves in the untenable position of dating someone they like perfectly well but to whom they aren’t ready to commit.

The other person gets all starry-eyed, and there you are, backing away slowly, terrified of being bound too soon.

This ambiguous relationship agreement is above “f**k buddies” or “bed buddies” and is one below dating.

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